24 Sep 2015

Friends is great.

So I've been watching a lot of Friends.
And by that I mean, having never once watched a full episode in my life, I began from the very start and after a couple weeks I've now reached the end of season six. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do with my life after it's over... besides continuing education till I go get a job, and generally move on with my life... But wow, friends is great, right?
Everybody who's watched the show, of course, has a favourite character, but I've been asking all the people I know about this. Turns out most of them actually have placed the characters in order of who they like the best.
Curious about how I've ordered them? No? I don't care, I'm saying it anyway.
-Chandler
-Joey
-Phoebe
-Ross
-Monica
-Rachel
This show has made me realise... just how awful some people can be. The amount of terrible things that some of the characters have said and done is shocking, considering that they're all meant to be friends. (I mean, duh. Look at the title.)
But it's also made me realise how forgiving people are. Your friends - your real friends - will continue to be there for you (when the rain starts to pourrrrrrrrr) even after you majorly fuck up.

This is getting a little too meaningful now, so I'm gonna tone that down. But the point is, I've had a real crap year, and there's still one amazing thing that has come out of it all; I have found the most reliable, dependable, amazing friends that I have ever had in my life. Within a couple months, these people turned from strangers, to people that I can't really imagine living without.
Grossness officially over.
To conclude this mess: some people are dicks, but others are nice. Also Friends is a good show, so watch it.

17 Sep 2015

This whole love business...

You know what's really difficult? Getting credibility when you're young. Nobody really believes anything you say, even the people who are the same age as you.
If you come up to me and tell me that you are in love, (and you're below twenty five,) I'm not going to believe you. Give it a couple months and a lot of me analysing your relationship, and I will begin to consider the idea.
Assholes like me are proof that no young person means shit to anybody, unless they can really prove themselves.
Assholes like me are why I don't trust many people. I figure, if I'm so bad, how terrible must the rest of the world be?
Going back to the 'in love' thing, due to my cynical opinion, I don't really expect anybody to believe that I could love someone at this age. But I suppose that's one thing about love: you don't have to believe it for it to be true.
Before this gets all gross and romantic, just to be clear, I'm not in a relationship, and this whole love business is a lot more messy than I care to explain right now.
Regardless, I don't need other people to confirm that my feelings are real, because I know they are, and even though I think it's ridiculous that someone so young could feel this way, I would say that I am living proof that it is possible.
It still pisses me off when people tell me I'm wrong about it, but I can deal with that.
And yes, I do notice when people who don't believe it tell me they do. So don't bother with that. Or do, if it makes you feel better. I'll play along, but you'd better realise that I know you're just as cynical as me.

10 Sep 2015

Sorry, Lungs.

I think the best way to describe how I feel about life is... exhausted. I'm just tired of it all. The people, the responsibilities. All of it.
Humanity is so great. We made the internet. And pizza is pretty cool. But we're also kinda crappy. I mean, no other creatures have figured out how to make themselves feel ugly like we have with modern media.
But hey, don't worry, I'm not about to get all Tumblr-social-justice-warrior.
I don't just think that other people are super horrible. I'm definitely part of the problem. I'm just like any other teenage girl and I say things about my friends behind their backs sometimes. I'm also a compulsive liar. In fact I think I'm genuinely insane (I'll get into exactly why some other day). I also have developed an astonishing amount of bad habits over the years: biting my nails (not so bad), cracking my knuckles (it's just so satisfying), manipulative lying (I already mentioned this but it really is pretty bad), and the most recent one... smoking. (Gasp.)
Yes, it's true, I am now one of those people. Sorry, Lungs. Let's hope I don't get cancer.
That would be real unfortunate. But hey maybe then I'll fall in love with some beautiful boy who has a fake limb because of the cancer he got, and we will die tragic, young deaths. As long as the body part that's missing isn't that one, (wink, wink) then I'm happy for that to happen. God knows I could use a bit of love.

"Perhaps 'put your face on mine right now' will be our always..."
(It's funny because they're only fictional characters, don't hate me, I actually liked the book. And the film was alright.)

3 Sep 2015

... come here to laugh at how dumb I am...

I have been absent from this side of the internet for a fair amount of time, and I can explain why. I can, but I won't.
It's like when people who make YouTube videos don't post for a while. Their next video is always them pointing out that they were gone. It's fair enough to give it a mention, but nobody gives that many craps about you going away for a couple weeks. Don't make a whole damn video about it!!

Yes, I've been away for months. (Maybe even a year... two? I don't know. I'm forgetful and I lose track of time easily.) But I know for sure that nobody cares about me being gone that long.
My reasons for disappearing will all slowly come out anyway. I have stories to tell, and nobody will be able to escape. Unless they go to another web page. Please don't do that. I need your attention. Even if it's bad attention. I don't mind. Feel free to tell me I'm annoying and stupid.
Though there are some who don't want fame, deep down, most people do, me included. I'd like to be known for something good, but at this point I'm not so sure if I care whether people like me or not. Enough people hate me already, so why not be hated and famous too?
If I became known (not likely) for being the most horrible person on the internet, I think I would be proud, because at least my existence is entertaining someone somewhere.
Of course I'm kidding. Everyone wants to be liked. Everyone also wants to be noticed though.
That isn't really the purpose of my writing here. I actually just want to develop my writing skills and blah blah blah serious stuff, but hey if people come here to laugh at how dumb I am then that's a great extra result!
Some day I'll have more than just my mum to tell me that I'm good at stuff.
Oh wait. Now I have some GCSEs to let me know that too. HA!

(5 As, and 5 Bs bitches... We don't have to talk about the two other grades.)

27 Aug 2015

Expect nothing.

God it's exhausting trying to be consistent. Blogging regularly, for example, has become a comical idea to me. I haven't been able to do that since back when I made badly written fanfiction... Being twelve years old did not suit me.
It's even more difficult to keep up a project like that when your whole life "falls apart" (basically meaning, you've turned into a teenager and you think that everybody is ruining your life and nobody understands you).
Even now, I'm expecting at least one person to take notice and read this, but I'm also kind of hoping they don't. The less aware people are of my existence, the less responsibility I have. I'm so damn unreliable... Seriously. I went into a shop to see if I could have a job and they gave me an application form. I said I'd fill it out by Thursday... That was a month ago. I still have the half-completed form sitting by my bed. I'm terrified that the nice manager, Alice is going to spot me in the street. Though it's probably quite arrogant to assume she'd recognise me after meeting me once. If she did though... that would be awkward.
But I digress.
The point is that I don't like, and should not be given responsibility. Please expect nothing of me.

Boy, that's a good line to put on my CV.

School starts next week. I'll be starting Sixth Form, and it's going to be great and exciting, and I know I'm going to love my classes. But I was supposed to do some work for each of those classes. Needless to say, I can't even complete work for something I enjoy. I'm damn useless.

Hahaha... save me.